Isolation

My own personal island

Where I can raise the oceans around me and watch everyone dance at a distance

They can see me and they wave and I wave back but they can’t reach me

It’s like a jail

The only difference is that the bars are water

Deconstructing the failsafes of your personality seems almost impossible

How do you unlearn psychological necessities

How do you evaporate the oceans of fear and loneliness and fear and fear and fear

Social anxiety is my personal island

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I’m so sad

I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him

I can’t believe I let myself fall I’m such a bitch I’m so fucking dumb I hate myseld I hate myself please love me please please just love me dammit

I couldn’t fucking sleep unless I imagined he was with me I couldn’t fucking sleep why the fuck couldn’t I sleep why did I let myself do that why why why

I thought my problems would be solved after I came for the first time in five months but no it didn’t help it really didn’t it made it so much worse I’m so sad I’m so sad there’s no aftercare there’s no love there’s no meaning it’s so empty and after it’s done you feel sick and sad and so so sad and alone and you cry and cry and cry and cry and I was so sad I am so sad

Why I am I so fucking fragile why do I let things affect me to the core why am I like this why why why mom why I hate myself I wanna die 

Sad

I’m sad I’m sad I’m sad I’m sad I’m sad I’m so so so so so so so sad I miss him I hate myself I hate myself for torturing myself like this I’m sad I’m sad I’m sad I’m sad sad sad sad sad

a tid story

he grabbed for her hand

she flinched away

are you leading me on? she asked, staring him in the eyes

woah he said way to be blunt…

you are she said you fucking are, she couldn’t pass up an opportunity to be dramatic as usual

she stood up, her hair falling into new positions she took a step back then another

my feelings aren’t something that you have the right to fucking play with ok it’s not just fun and games okay I’m not overreacting I’m not being dramatic I’m being normal and communicating my thoughts and feelings and I did not consent to this

she turned into the doorway


Hanna! wait Hanna no

he rushes and grabs her hand and pulls her to him she’s halfway out the door

now they’re facing eachother

now he puts his hands on both sides of her head

now he’s kissing her and she’s in shock but now she’s kissing back

wow what a romantic movie

wow how unrealistic


He watches her go.