Everything changes so fast
Well not everything not usually at the rate that everything has changed for me
It’s been hard to wrap my head around how my life completely changed when I stepped foot on USAFA on I-Day.
I slept in the same bed for 17+ years. I had habits, I had routines, I was comfortable. I went to bed without pants usually. Now I sleep on a mattress on the floor usually in uniform. I used to wake up in the morning and throw on jeans and a T-shirt and whatever sweater.
That’s just… so strange…
I just stopped.
I just stopped doing all that. I just stopped living in New Jersey one day and started living somewhere else.
It’s not the things though it’s the people. Mostly my family. I’ve talked enough about my mom already though.
THIngs just change so fast so fucking fast… I’ll find my group I’ll find my people I will. I’ll find my place here.
I miss how easy life used to be.That’s a big thing. Life… used to be so fucking easy and I didn’t even realize it. Yes, I pulled all-nighters. Yes, I ended up crying on bathroom floors. No, I’m not trying to invalidate my past emotions… I just… it used to be so easy. I kinda dislike uniforms… not the concept, but how fucking hard they are to put on. Like I used to just slip into jeans and a tshirt and sneakers and then I was good. It took so fast, it was so easy. I miss that. Tying my fucking boots is so fucking annoying. I fucking hate tying shoes.
I just I miss it I miss it a lot. A civilian college would be easier. It would be. But I know why I’m here. I’m here because I’m going to work for NASA one day. I’m going to go to M fucking IT. I have to. I have to there’s just no other option and if I don’t…that’s not an option. That’s just not a fucking option. MIT is the goal, not the dream. And I’m going to reach it.
MIT then AFRL then NASA and all that science shit. I just couldn’t stand doing anything else.
When I decided to go to this school, I chose a hard path. I knew it would be hard. But I can do it. Recognition is three weeks away. Three. fucking. weeks. Three weeks then three days then my life going to be so much fucking better.
I chose this. I’m sure as hell not going to give up on my goals.