So I just need to write this out so I don’t fucking kill myself thinking about useless shit.
I’m over Jason. I have accepted that we will never be together again and moved on. I still love him because I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the kiddo, but am I in love with him? No.
He’s such a damn romantic lol just saying.
In retrospect, there are several reasons why we would not work out currently. 1. He’s a sophomore. 2. He is in a relationship with Erika (duh). 3. He has moved on from me.
These are pretty big reasons that make a relationship right now impossible.
Yes the idea has occured to me that I would become the grill who stays in love with Jwong until years later when he comes around and realizes that I was always there for him and that he loves me… but that’s like… no. Why is this impossible? Well first of all, I believe Jwong and I are not a perfect match and I will probably meet someone who meshes with, relates with, and compliments my needs and who I am better. He will probably meet someone who meshes with, relates with, and compliments him better as well.
Undoubtedly, Jwong and I are good friends right now, and we will stay in touch and stay longterm friends/acquaintances. He and Izzy are probably the only people who I am sure I will keep in touch with.
We do have a lot of similarities, but there are some flaws in his personality that don’t quite fit with mine.
Disclaimer: Jwong is currently 15 years old, which is damn young, so he will probably change a lot. This is just a reflection of how he currently is.
- His lack of interest in my life.
- He probably wants kids of his own or is obligated to have kids of his own.
- His general immaturity and inexperience (from being 15 years old).
- His misguided subjectivity, independence, exclusiveness, and/or ambiguousness.
So my conclusion is: Jwong is still a kiddo and has many more years of his life ahead of him. He will probably change a lot, and I am really really looking forward to seeing how he grows. I am also looking forward to seeing how I grow and meeting new people and love interests who I can fall in love with even more than I did with Jwong.
Tada. There ya go. I have moved on.