What is normal?
Our normals constantly change.
One day I’m chilling at 128 Glenwood ct, Union, NJ and the next I’m 1.7K miles across the country 7K miles above sea level… It’s not so much the change in location though, it’s the change in environment. In being a senior in college and knowing my place in the world as president of Team 1257 and a future astronaut to being a doolie four degree in a military service academy treated as a second class citizen. It actually really helps put things in perspective for me in regards to how minorities are/were treated. It’s really hard to keep ahold of your goals and dreams when you’re constantly being beat down and demotivated. You gotta keep rediscovering that motivation.
It’s been less than a year still. Less than a year that I’ve been in this institution. More than a year since I found out that I’d be going here.
My normal used to be waking up to my mom yelling for me to get up ten minutes before the bus arrived, throwing clothes on, rushing to throw all my stuff together, getting in the car to speed to the bus stop. I love how you take little things for granted. Like how easy it was to get dressed in the morning. I miss that so much. My normal used to be A days and B days at UCVTS, chilling and studying at lunch wherever, the Matlins giving me food. Chilling at PE… Going home or to robotics after school. Then swimming… sometimes.
Ngl, one of the things I miss is how little I actually worked out… I was always really busy with other stuff. I also miss swimming lol. I miss swimming so much. Swimming was also my normal.
Part of disliking working out is being a doolie ofc. I probably need to start getting into running more if I’m going to be an astronaut. Hopefully I can get into other things like swimming though. I’ll have to do more research. Obviously I have to stay fit and I’ll keep my standards high.
I really miss swimming a lot. My times have definitely gone down at this point. I miss doing 1:16 100 breaststrokes. I miss swim meets. I miss trying hard at practices. I miss my pool. My pool that I’ve gone to since I was <8. My pool that I know and love.
I miss… being me I guess. I miss being able to be myself. Being a doolie really does suck. 100’s weekend was nice. Not having to look over your shoulder and live in fear and just be free.
There’s so much in my first ~17 years of life that are a blur, but there’s also so much that I miss. Recognition is in four days. Then two days then it’s all over. I just want it to be over. I can’t wait. I want a better normal.